Journal

I know nobody reads this but this is like my journal. My place to put down my raw emotions fresh off the grill in my mind. This past week I feel nothing is going my way & im messing everything up. Getting a low grade on my test which could ultimately lead to me failing the class since we have only 2 tests total. To just not being able to understanding the math hw makes me feel stupid & knowing im going to fail the test next Wed makes me feel oh so much better. Along with having a test on my birthday like what else can the world throw at me?! seriously. I have 2 essays due within a week of each other both being 5pgs long, finals coming up & doing EC for the class i might fail. I have so much to do that I have to do in this last month that I can't just waste time its Finals month & people who have gone to college before know it takes like a month to be ready for Finals. So yeah I'm pissed & I'm upset at myself. Life just threw me the wrong hand at the wrong time & I'm playing them at the wrong time. So from now on there is no more fun time for me. That time has passed now its time to buckle down & get shit done. No more sleeping in & no more watching tv cause i can all my free time is going to go to finished up those damn essays that keep lingering over my head until I can't take them anymore which is now. Shit is hitting the fan & I gotta clean up the mess. Well this is me cleaning it up. I'm tired of this im tired of school cannot wait til June come til I go home. I need the week away from everything at the lake to just be with friends & no outside influences, nobody telling me what to do or who to be.

Update

Well I've been busy for over a month now just got off spring break...wasn't much of a break this whole wedding has taken over all my time I'm just sick & tired of it. Like I know people are helping me & I thank them so much because without them idk if i could do it in all honesty. I'm way to busy to deal with it. I'm overwhelmed with homework I have several essays coming up & my birthday is in a little over 3 weeks & all I'm doing is math hw & school so I mean COC is harder than Biola & I kinda wish I was still going to Biola. All our hw was pretty much reading not math problems or hella 5pg essays due its insane. I'm just trying to get through the next month then Finals will come & I will be able to go home again. I'm really looking forward to the week at the lake house with a bunch of my friends no care in the world I need it badly. Just to get away from the wedding & away from the constant nag of getting this done or that done just have me time with a bunch of friends that know me & know how to just relax me & just get to have fun on the boat & go tubing & kneeboarding like last summer